Littlest Things
by Mibamonster
Summary: Post TGL. Sydney gets a surprise visit from her older sister, Carly, and finds she needs someone to share her problems with. Sydrian.
1. Chapter 1

**Sydney**

A knock on the door interrupted my third kitten video of the day.

I guessed it was probably Angeline who had a problem with something. Jill wasn't comfortable around me anymore since I'd rejected Adrian, and Eddie would call before he stopped by.

For a second I considered pretending I wasn't there, but the pull of duty was too strong. "Come in!"

The door opened and I closed my laptop. Cue my surprise when it wasn't Angeline coming through the door, but Carly. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her neatly made-up lips turned into a broad smile when she saw me.

"Carly? Carly! I'm so glad to see you!" I jumped up and threw my arms around her, grinning. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming! You look great – how is everything at college? How are your courses?"

She laughed and held me at an arm's distance. "I missed you, too. You look…" The words died in her mouth. Social ineptitude was something that ran in the Sage family. She recovered relatively quickly, though. "You look great, too."

I pretended not to notice her hesitation. "What brought you here? How long are you staying? Where are you staying?"

"A hotel just out of town. I'm staying until Tuesday. The debating team has got a competition until Monday and I thought I'd stay an extra day. I have family living here, after all." She took a seat on my bed and I sat down next to her, almost overflowing with happiness and curiosity.

"How did you know I was here?" I said. Jill's location had to stay hidden even from most Alchemists; if there had been an information leak, I should tell them as soon as possible.

"Father heard I was coming here and said that I should check up on you. He said you were doing very well." She didn't look at me while she said this, but the meaning of those words wasn't lost on me. _He thinks I'm doing very well and he told Carly? _The thought was enough to make my palms sweaty. If only he knew what things I'd got up to lately…

Carly shifted in the chair, looking around the room. "So this is where you live now?"

I nodded. "I used to share a room with Jill, but I don't have to anymore, now that Angeline's here."

"And do you like it here? Have you made any friends?" Her blue eyes had a worried look to them.

"Yes, I've made…. friends." One of them was a vampire, two were dhampirs, and then there was that _other _vampire that wasn't my friend anymore – but this wasn't the right time for that. I hadn't seen Carly in months. "But how are you? The debating is going well? How are your subjects at college?"

"They're fine. I'm fine." She waved my words away. "Hectic, as usual, but that's what you get with all my courses. Tell me about you, please. We've all been so curious about how you're doing – mom, especially."

"There's little to say," I said. "Just doing my Alchemist duty. My classes are fun, though – it's nice that I get to have some sort of college."

"And it's not too hard, handling Palm Springs on your own?"

I shook my head. "Not at all."

"And how are things with… you know…" She looked around furtively, but of course there was no one around. "The Moroi? Are they… They haven't bothered you or anything, have they?"

"I… no, not at all. They're…" I stopped myself before I could say anything stupid, but then I changed my mind. This was Carly. If there was anyone I could confide in, it was her. "In truth, they're not bad people."

I'd been about to say that I was quite fond of them, but Carly's stupefied expression put a stop to my words.

"Are you serious?" she said. "About the _vampires_? Sydney, they're - "

"I know," I said hastily. "But here they pose as my family and they're decent people. Yes, one of them drinks blood and the other two are dhampirs, but they're persons, too. Nice persons."

She brought a hand to her mouth, too shocked to say anything. When she finally found her voice, she said, "You're not joking, are you?"

"I wish I was." I let out a deep sigh and held my face in my hands. "I know it's the worst thing I can say as an Alchemist, but they've grown onto me. I like them. And…" My mind drifted to Adrian. Maybe it was best if I didn't tell Carly about him – it might be too much for her to handle.

"Oh, Sydney." Carly put a comforting arm around me and I leaned against her. "Of all the things I thought you might have problems with… this one didn't even occur to me. How did this happen?"

"I don't know," I said in a small voice. "I've messed up so badly, Carly."

"I'm sure you haven't. Seeing them as people – which they are, in the end – it's probably why you're so good at your job here. No one is going to blame you for having sympathy for the people you work with, right?"

We both knew that wasn't true, but for the moment, her words were the comfort I needed.

"I'm really glad you're here," I said. "You've no idea how much I missed you. And mom, and Zoe, and Julius…" Julius was our cat. His full name was Gaius Julius Caesar, courtesy of me, but the name that stuck was Julius. Watching cat clips on the internet in order to distract myself had brought back memories of Julius and right now I wished I could just hug him and press my face against his warm, soft belly.

"We miss you too," Carly said. "Maybe you could come over for Christmas? I'll be home."

"I don't think I can, but I'll try. Until then… Want me to show you around Amberwood?"

When Carly first met Jill, the fear radiating off her was so strong I was surprised no one was giving us funny looks.

"She's your sister?" Jill said curiously, looking at me with something other than resentment for the first time in weeks. She turned to Carly and held out her hand. "It's so nice to meet you."

Carly eyed the hand, but she didn't shake it. "Likewise," she said.

It didn't take Jill long to catch the hint. She dropped her hand and took a small step backwards. Carly all but oozed with relief.

"I was just showing her around Amberwood – I guess she's another cousin, if anyone asks," I said to Jill. "Are you okay? Where are Angeline and Eddie?" I wasn't sure if I wanted Carly to meet them. On the one hand, I wanted her to know the people who were so important to me now, and I wanted them to know her, but on the other hand… she was scared already, and now she was just seeing Jill, who looked by far the most harmless of them all.

Jill scowled. "They're off 'training'."

I felt a surge of pity for her. If it had just been her heartbreak she had to deal with, that would've been bad enough, but coupled with Adrian's as well, I was surprised she wasn't at everybody's throats.

"Think you'll manage?" I said.

"Sydney, I _can _survive a couple of hours on my own. You don't have to worry about me all the time." Her tone softened and she looked at me with a fondness that made me uncomfortable. Maybe I preferred her anger after all. "Just have fun with your sister."

"If you need anything -"

"I'll call you. Really, I'll be fine."

I nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later, then."

"It was nice to meet you," she said to Carly. Her smile was hiding her fangs, but it didn't succeed in putting Carly at ease. "I hope I'll see you again."

Carly just nodded. As we continued our walk, she took deep, calming breaths.

"Are you all right?" I asked. "Do you need to sit down?"

She shook her head and leaned against the stone wall of the language department. "No, I'm okay. I just… I'd never spoken to one of _them _before." She cast a glance at where Jill had been, but she was gone now.

"Jill is very sweet," I said. "Once you've gotten used to the thought that she's a Moroi, she's one of the dearest girls I know."

She shook her head, incredulous. "I really can't believe it. You, of all people, liking Moroi…"

When she said it like that, my nerves turned on edge again. "You won't tell the Alchemists, will you?"

"Of course I won't. You're my sister – the last place I want you to go is a re-education center." She smiled at me. "Come on, let me see the rest of the school before I have to go to Carlton again."

"Carlton?"

"The university? They're hosting the debate this weekend. I've still got to discuss some things with my team, but you could come, too, and then afterwards we'll go for dinner?" As she spoke, her stomach made a rumbling sound. "Seems like my stomach thinks I should grab something on the way there… Do you want to come?"

"It's not your stomach making that sound," I said, in an attempt to postpone my answer. "It's your intestines cleaning themselves."

"Making room for the new food they are looking forward to. Come on – I've already seen a couple of nice places where I'm sure they have enough coffee to keep even you happy." She nudged me. "Please, Syd? I really want you to meet my team. There are one or two guys in there that might be your type…"

I forced my lips into a smile, but I didn't think she was convinced. Still, I agreed to go with her and about twenty minutes later we were in a small coffee shop. She was getting our order while I kept a table occupied.

"There. That's one skim vanilla latte, one cappuccino and _two _slices of cake," Carly said, placing it on the table. "I didn't know if you'd want strawberry cheesecake or chocolate, so I thought I'd play it safe and by both. At least you can't choose wrong, right?"

"Oh, I don't need one," I said. "You can have them, if you want."

"One is more than enough for me and you look as if you could use some. Really, Sydney, you remind me of a skeleton – and not in a good way," she added. She pushed the plate with the strawberry cheesecake on it closer to me. "You need some flesh on those bones again, darling."

"Carly, I really don't -"

"Then do it for me," she said, picking up a fork. "I bought them, so enjoy one for me. You know you want to…" Her tone was playful, but she _was _the older sister. I knew that even if I resisted, she'd just take the cake with us until I ate it. Carly had a way of doing that to Zoe and me, which surprised other people; she was very easygoing when her sisters weren't involved.

I took the other fork and looked at the cheesecake. It was very alluring, its pink surface smooth and pretty, adorned with two real strawberries. These last couple of days I hadn't eaten that much, partly because comfort food seemed like a bad idea and partly because the pair of jeans I wore now were still too tight for my liking.

Carly chattered about the upcoming debating competition, and I was happy to listen and try to help her with some new arguments. Before I knew it, my plate was empty; nothing but a couple of crumbs were left to remind me of the calories I'd just ingested.

"Think we should go now?" I said when Carly kept looking at her watch.

"Yes. I'd rather be a bit early. Let me just get something for the road." She went to the counter and came back a couple of minutes later, holding two large chocolate chip cookies. When we got into the car, she tried to give me one, but I declined and this time she didn't push it. She just made sure the second cookie was within my reach.

"Imagine going here," Carly said as she parked outside Carlton University. She opened the door and stepped out into the sun. "I could imagine worse things than living in Palm Springs. Sun all the time, great clothing stores all around…"

"Life here is quite good," I said. "Come on, I want to meet your team."

"Always little Miss Impatience. Relax – we've got time. We're even fifteen minutes early." She led me into the big, white-stoned building, asking for directions at the front desk. It had been a while since I'd been to Carlton and I had to admit, it did look like a nice university. As we walked to the room reserved for Carly's team, I saw some posters that seemed interesting. Maybe I could attend some night classes; it would be good to get my mind off certain things, and I could try to fit it into my schedule…

"Wait," Carly said, when we were around the fourth floor. "This is 4 _B _16? No. No, we're supposed to be in the A-wing. Dammit." She looked at the sign next to a classroom door. "Yes, B-wing. I knew we shouldn't have taken that elevator."

"Oh, that's okay, I think I saw a floor plan in the stairwell." I started to go back to the stairs, but Carly had different thoughts. She went up to the first person she saw, a girl of about her age, carrying a bag that was filled to bursting with notebooks.

"Excuse me," she said. "Could you help us? We're searching for the B-wing…"

While the girl showed Carly where she had to go, I looked at a poster advertising a lecture this weekend on someone named Karel Appel. The background featured the colorful drawing of a bird. I didn't have plans this weekend; maybe I should go…

The door next to me opened and suddenly the hall was being filled by students carrying folders. I couldn't see Carly over their heads, but that didn't worry me. I figured I'd just wait until the students were gone and then we'd –

A flash of green caught my eye.

My stomach did a strange little flip. Why hadn't I thought of that? This was the art department of Carlton. I shouldn't be surprised that Adrian was here – but I shouldn't have run into him, either. I turned my head away from the group of art students, hoping he hadn't seen me or, if he had, that he'd walk away.

Of course, my luck wasn't in.

"Sage?" he said. "What are you doing here?"

"I… I just, er…" _How eloquent you are, Sydney. _"Were you just in class?"

"No, I just like walking around here. Yes, I was in class." He looked nervous, something that surprised me. "So did you come here to talk to me or did you just happen to appear at the Art department of Carlton when I was there as well?"

"Believe it or not, it's actually the latter. I… There is… How was class?" I nodded at his folder. His classes seemed like a pretty normal subject – we could have a conversation about that, now that we were both here. Right? Not to mention the fact that I was actually pretty interested in what Adrian did at college. "Could I see it?"

He seemed relieved by the harmless topic – or maybe he was jus happy I was talking to him. That didn't happen often lately.

"Sure," he said, opening the folder and taking out two pieces of thick paper. He handed them to me, careful not to touch me, for which I was grateful. "They're just sketches, but…" He shrugged.

Adrian's drawings never ceased to amaze me. I was so used to him being a lazy party boy – albeit one with a heart of gold – that it was easy to forget that he was really talented. In just a few strokes of a pencil he'd captured…

I looked at the drawing. It was a girl looking out of a window. Most of the background was absent and her body was hardly more than an outline, but there was no mistaking her expression. It was one I saw in the mirror every day; one of loneliness and regret.

"Were you inspired by anything in particular?" I said, looking at the second drawing. That was generic, though not less beautiful; a dog, asleep on a couch.

"My muse inspires me even more when she's not around," he said, a hint of bitterness in his voice. He took the sheets back and put them in his folder again.

"Sydney?"

We both looked up at the sound of Carly's voice. She gestured for me to join her, but froze when she saw Adrian. Too late I realized that Adrian and I were standing very close together, that I was leaning into him. Carly's jaw dropped as she took in the small, harmless scene.

"It's all right," I said. "It's just Adrian. Adrian, this is Carly, she's my sister. Carly, this is Adrian Ivashkov, he poses as another brother of mine and he's a student here at Carlton."

"And a…" she said, not daring to say the word in such a public place.

I nodded. "That, too."

Adrian wore his most pleasant smile, but he didn't hold out his hand to Carly. He'd always been more aware of the Alchemist's discomfort than the others in our group. "Seems like beauty runs in the Sage family."

"Oh, er…" She turned a bright pink. "You… You obviously haven't met our – our uncle Ferdinand, then. Although he is from our mother's side, so not technically a Sage. Er… Sydney? Sh – shouldn't we go? I know how to get there…"

"Where are you going?" Adrian asked.

I waited for Carly to tell him, but when nothing came out, I said, "Carly's here for a debating tournament. Her team is supposed to be in the A-wing and we got lost, hence the… fact that we're here."

"Good luck," he said to Carly. "If you're anything like Sage, I'm sure you'll win."

She just nodded, her eyes fleeting from him to me.

"We should really be going now. It was nice to see you again." I meant every word, wishing I could convey just _how _glad I was to see him. Judging by tight line of his mouth, he knew. And he also knew that it didn't matter for my decision.

I went back to Carly. She didn't say anything for about three flights of stairs. Then, after checking over her shoulder, she seemed to be certain that Adrian wasn't within hearing distance. "Sydney, could you explain _that _to me?"

"Adrian takes art classes here," I said. "I didn't know he had classes right now."

"That's not what I'm talking about. That boy is head over heels in love with you," she said. "A – a – one of _them _is in love with you. Being friendly with them is one thing, but how did _this _happen?"

"Bad luck?" I shrugged. "I don't know, Carly. I can't help it if he feels like that."

"Well, you should stay away from him," she said, leading me through an empty corridor. "Make it obvious that you don't want anything to do with him like that. Don't let him coerce you into anything with some nice words – no means no. You know that, right? No _always_ means no, and the length of your skirt or the colour of your lipstick doesn't change that _no_." She grabbed me by the shoulders, a shadow passing over her face.

"He wouldn't do something like that," I said. "Adrian isn't like Keith. He knows that no is no. He'd never do anything I wasn't comfortable with. He'd never do anything I didn't want to." Of course she was right about the other things; I should stay away from him, but that was because I feared my own feelings much more than his.

Carly scrutinized my face, and then understanding dawned on her. "Oh no. Sydney, no. You're not going to tell me you like him back."

"I didn't mean to," I said. "It just… happened. I didn't want to fall in love with him, I just _did_."

She had turned the color of overdue milk. "You can't tell anyone that," she said. "You'd be lynched. Syd, he's a _vampire_." She whispered the last word. "How can you - ?"

Something I wondered often, together with the question, _how could I not?_ When someone made me feel as alive, even carefree, as Adrian did, how could I not develop feelings for him? I doubted there was any point in explaining that to Carly, though; if it hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't believe it. An alchemist falling in love with Moroi was bigger than a taboo – it was a sheer impossibility.

"I don't know," I said. "I just do. And I'm trying, okay? I'm staying away from him as much as I can and he's doing the same and we're really trying not to make this worse, but…" I swallowed. "He kissed me."

Carlie looked about ready to faint. She clutched my shoulder harder than ever, her nails digging into my skin. "_What_? What did you do?"

"I kissed him back. And Carly, it was… It was amazing. It was more than amazing; it was like everything in my body… became weightless, like I was floating." I wasn't exactly helping her get over her shock. "I don't know what to do."

"Oh, Syd…" She put her arms around me. Where words were no longer helpful, hugs did the trick. "You really got yourself in deep this time, didn't you? In love with a Moroi…" She sighed and rested her chin on the top of my head. "Things'll get better."

"Will they?"

She stroked my hair. "I hope so."


	2. Chapter 2

**Carly**

I waited until I saw the bathroom door close behind Sydney before I grabbed her bag and got out her phone. I knew that what Sydney got up to was none of my business, but dammit, she was my younger sister and someone had to look out for her. She certainly wouldn't do it herself – otherwise she would've eaten something by now.

I had no difficulty guessing Sydney's PIN code – Zoe's birthday – and then I was browsing in her contacts list. What was his name again? Adrian something?

Glancing over my shoulder to see if she was coming, I pressed the 'call' button. My heartbeat increased at the prospect of talking to a vampire, but at least he wasn't here. He couldn't hurt me.

"Sage?" he said when he picked up. The hope in his voice was impossible to miss.

"Sort of. I'm Carly – Sydney's sister?"

"Is something wrong?" He sounded alarmed. "Did something happen to Sage?"

"No, no, don't worry." I couldn't believe I was telling a Moroi not to worry. "I was just wondering if maybe we could meet. I want to talk to you."

"Sure," he said.

"Do you have time tomorrow? I've a two-hour break tomorrow, between eleven thirty and one thirty – I think I saw a coffee place on campus. Could you meet me there?" I rushed the words, hoping I could finish this conversation before Sydney came back.

"Joe's Coffee?" he said. "Eleven forty-five?"

"I'll see you there. Okay, bye." I hung up and threw the phone back in Sydney's bag. I turned my focus back to my food, but I found I wasn't hungry anymore. I was being very, very stupid right now, and I knew it. What if the Alchemists found out I'd had coffee with a Moroi? What if Sydney did?

"Sorry it took me so long," she said, when she returned. "There was a line."

I looked into her face. She had dark circles underneath her eyes and her cheekbones were sharper than I remembered them. The gaunt hand that held her fork didn't actually bring it down to her food; she just let it hover over her plate.

She smiled at me, but I didn't have the strength to return the smile. _Sydney, what did you get yourself into?_

* * *

I was ten minutes early to our appointment and ordered a cappuccino. While I replayed the last debate in my head and noted the areas of improvement, I also looked through my notes for the next debates. I was so caught up in the arguments that I didn't notice when someone sat down opposite me, at least not until he said, "Older Sage?"

I looked up and almost dropped my notes. There he was – Adrian Ivashkov. A Moroi was sitting only a couple of feet away from me, nursing a bowl with gelato.

_Sydney kissed him_, I thought. _She kissed that vampire._

He was good-looking, I couldn't deny that, but I'd never thought Sydney was someone to go for someone based solely on his looks. What kind of person was he that she'd fallen in love with him despite his species?

I bristled and tried to keep my face neutral. "Hello. Th – thank you for coming."

"No problem," he said. "Isn't Sydney coming?"

"No, er, she… She doesn't know about this. That is, unless you told her about it." I fiercely hoped he hadn't; explaining this visit to Sydney wasn't something I looked forward to, mostly because I didn't know how I'd justify it.

"We don't talk that much anymore." He got a wistful look about him when he said that, but he snapped out of it. "I'm guessing you're not here because you enjoy my company so much."

"Got that right," I muttered.

"Then why _are _you here?"

I took a sip of my coffee, contemplating just getting up and walking away. I hadn't realized how scary it would be to be face to face with one of them, let alone discuss Sydney with him. "Sydney told me a bit about you. And her. And the combination of you two."

"And you're here to chastise me?"

"I'm here because I don't understand." I halted. "And partly to chastise you, I guess. If you don't mind."

"Don't worry; I've gotten used to the Sage women reprimanding me." He leaned back in his chair, the relaxed posture contrasting with his downcast expression. He really did have beautiful green eyes. "What don't you understand?"

"Anything, really." I attempted a smile. "Most of all, though? Please don't feel insulted, but… I really don't understand why Sydney would return your feelings."

"You should be asking her that, not me," he said.

"I don't think she knows, either. Or she does and maybe she just doesn't want to admit it to herself. She has a wonderful knack for denying things to herself."

This got a smile from him. "Don't I know it."

"So I guess I just… I wanted to see what you were like." Now that I was here, I wondered what exactly I'd expected to come from his conversation. I didn't even know what I'd hoped for; him saying he wasn't that interested in her, maybe? That'd break her heart, but it had to be better than if he really liked her… "I never thought Sydney would fall for a Moroi. Well, to be fair, I didn't think Sydney would fall for _anyone_, she's so picky, but…" I shook my head, wondering why I was telling him all this.

"She went out with a human a couple of times," he said conversationally.

I raised my eyebrows. "Sydney?"

"Yeah. With… God, I always forget his name. Brandon, something like that."

"Sydney went out with someone?" I said. "Sydney, as in my sister, Sydney?"

He nodded and took a bite of his gelato.

_Thank God. Maybe things can work out with _him_… _"Wait, what. Did you say '_went _out'? Past tense? What happened?"

Now I got a full-out grin. "He broke up with her because she was 'too irresponsible.'"

"We're not talking about the same Sydney, then," I said.

"Oh, we are. A series of incidents led to… well, anyway, I don't think it bothered her that much. This gelato's really good, by the way. I should come here more often." He scooped up so much gelato I was sure he'd get brain freeze, and indeed, his face scrunched up. If he hadn't been a vampire, he couldn't have scared me in the least, even if he tried.

"There isn't a chance they'll get back together?" I said.

He shook his head. "I don't think she was ever really interested in him. He was… remarkable in his boringness. Which could be interesting, but wasn't."

I wondered what that Brandon was like according to Sydney. I'd always thought that _if _she dated someone, it would be an Alchemist, or at least a lawyer; someone with a no-nonsense attitude. The fact that she'd kissed the vampire sitting opposite me was a sign that I'd been wrong about that; what other boys had caught her attention?

"And then you grabbed your chance," I said. "And you kissed her."

"I did," he said, not sounding sorry in the least.

"Without giving a moment's hesitation to how she felt about it. You just thought it was a good idea and Sydney's feelings be damned." My voice became harsh. Its ferocity wasn't lost on Adrian, who looked genuinely shocked by my words.

"No. That's not how – is that what she told you?" His hand hovered in the air, holding a spoon with gelato, but he didn't seem to notice. "Was it that bad for her?"

"_It was amazing. It was more than amazing. Like I was floating_._"_ I couldn't forget the dreamy expression she'd worn when she said that. But he couldn't know that, could he? If he knew how she felt about him…

_Maybe he does_, I thought. _Maybe he understands… _

I quickly dismissed the idea. He couldn't understand – otherwise, he'd never have kissed her.

"She's an Alchemist," I said. "She's a human. You're a Moroi. Of course it was bad for her. I don't care if you thought she wanted it – and don't tell me she was asking for it. She wasn't. Sydney isn't like that, and it's _not _an excuse. If she didn't want it, you – you should respect that." My voice became constricted as I thought back to that one night. It had happened years ago, but it still haunted me in my dreams, it still went through my mind every time a boy asked me out. I wouldn't let the same happen to Sydney.

"_He'd never do anything I wasn't comfortable with. He'd never do anything I didn't want to."_

Wouldn't he? How could I know?

He reached out over the table, but stopped halfway, giving me a cautious smile instead. "Carly, I would never hurt her," he said.

"But you as- kissed her." I'd almost used the word "assaulted", but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Even if he was a vampire, I knew it wasn't assault. Sydney wasn't like me; she would've done something about it if he'd tried anything.

"I did."

"Why?"

The answer was quite simple and stupefied me. "Because I love her."

It took a long time for my brain to form a word again. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you love her?" To hide my confusion, I downed the last of my now-lukewarm coffee.

"I love her because she's determined," he said. "Because she's loyal, because she always helps others, because she makes Ancient Greek interesting, because of the smile she gets when she talks about cars…"

I opened my mouth to say something, but he continued, "I love her because she's funny, because she understands me the way no one else does, because she does what's right, not what's most convenient to her, because she's smart…"

My heart ached for the man who was sitting there, looking so desolate. I wondered if even Sydney knew how deep his feelings ran. Even when he just spoke about her, he got a gleam in his eyes, like his mind was somewhere else. Like he was with her.

He shook his head and seemed to return to this world. "Sorry for that. I got a bit carried away." He quickly scooped up the rest of his ice cream and got up. "I'm going to get some more of this – can I get you anything?"

I doubted he was really that eager for more gelato, but I _was _in the need for food. This was supposed to be my lunch break, after all. "Haven't they got brownies here? Could you get me one of those? Or maybe a cinnamon bun. And another coffee?"

He didn't move; he just stared at me. "You want me to get you a cinnamon roll?"

"I'll pay you back," I said.

"No, I mean, you actually eat? Other things than salads and coffee?"

It seemed I wasn't the only ones who'd noticed Sydney's eating habits. "I eat."

"Okay then. I'll be right back." He still looked taken aback as he stood in the line. I took this moment of peace to assess the situation. I wasn't sure if it was a lot worse or a lot better than I'd hoped. I wanted Sydney to be happy, but I wanted her to be safe as well, and these feelings weren't going to go over well with the Alchemists… I clearly recalled the fear that crossed her face every time re-education centers were mentioned, especially since her incidents with that dhampir girl. It made sense for her to stay away from Adrian, but…

Adrian placed a tray with out food on it in front of me.

"How is Sydney?" he said.

I got my cinnamon roll and broke off a piece. "I got a look at her laptop yesterday. She was watching cat videos."

His face was completely blank. "Cat videos?"

"It's her method of therapy," I said. "It's this sliding scale of how bad she feels. When she's just rereading Jane Austen, she's stressed. When she starts biting her nails, things have become a lot worse, but it's manageable. And then there are cat videos, the sign of terrifying inner turmoil in Sydney land." I sighed. "So she's not doing too well."

"The things I learn today…" he said. "Think I could be bad enough for her to have to resort to cat videos?"

Sydney's face when she spoke to him yesterday flashed into my mind. The happiness there had been hidden behind the guilt, but still visible.

"I think it's mostly a combination of you and the Alchemists," I said slowly.

His eyes opened wide. "They don't know, do they?"

"Oh, no. God, no. She wouldn't be in Palm Springs now if they knew. She'd probably be in Alaska, or wherever they're doing it."

"'It'?" he said.

"Re-educating."

"Re-educating?" he repeated, leaning closer to me, though I didn't think he noticed. I did, though, and pushed back my chair. "What does that mean?"

"She hasn't told you about them? The re-education centers?" I could hardly imagine it. He seemed to care a lot about her; if there was anything that would definitely stop him from going to her, it would probably be the thought of sending her to one of those centers. Although he seemed to do a pretty good job already, even if it did tear him up. "They're every Alchemist's biggest nightmare. In re-education centers, Alchemists who are… who are too friendly with Moroi get… well, re-educated, although I suppose the term 'brainwashed' might be more appropriate…" I shuddered at the thought of Sydney being sent to one.

"And _this_ would definitely get her sent there," he said. "Brainwashed… how? Do you know that?"

I shook my head. "I'm not an Alchemist; father never told me much about it. I doubt if he even knows what they're doing. It seemed pretty secret stuff to me. Sydney and I once saw someone who'd been there, though… It wasn't pretty." His questioning look encouraged me to go on, "He was like… like a blank slate. Like he just hadno personality anymore, and lived just for his Alchemist duty. Sydney's been afraid of going there for months."

"Because she helped Rose," he surmised.

"Yeah. Really, it's a miracle they didn't make her go for that alone. And then she comes here and… well, to put it into perspective: the way she _doesn't _flinch around Jill would be reason enough for them to at least consider it. If they knew about this…" I let out a humorless laugh. "Well, they might be so shocked they simply don't know what to do with the situation. I doubt this has ever happened before."

He didn't reply for a long time. When he did, it was with a resignation that seemed very uncharacteristic for him. "So I guess it doesn't even matter what she thinks. Even if she would… Even if it didn't bother _her _anymore what I am, she'd still…"

"She'd still be too afraid. And rightfully so." My heart bled for him. I couldn't believe I was actually hoping for a vampire to be united with my sister, but there was something so disarming about him. Love came in many forms and this seemed like one hell of a love to me. "Adrian, I'm really sorry, but… I don't want Sydney to be erased. You like her – love her – and I know she feels that way about you, too, but… I can't have you risk her safety like that."

He nodded slowly. "You're right. I didn't know the Alchemists were that…"

"Cruel?" I said.

"I was going to go for 'extreme', but yeah, 'cruel' works as well." His expression was that of an abandoned puppy. "I'm glad you told me this. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, but… well, it did. I'd hoped…"

"I know," I said. "But you can't."

He took out his phone and checked the time. "It's almost time for you to go back to saving the world," he said. When I reached for my wallet, he shook his head. "No, this is on me. Just for the pleasure of seeing a Sage woman eat for a change."

"Thank you." I waited for him while he paid, and then we went outside together. In the bright sunlight, it was easy to imagine I was walking next to a human. Still, even when I remembered what he was, I couldn't be afraid of him. I trusted Sydney's judgment on him.

"So, what's the next debate about?" he said.

"Oh, the usual. World hunger, discrimination, religious wars. Nothing too wild."

"Well, good luck."

I opened my mouth, but then a voice behind me said, "Carly?"

It was immediately followed by, "_Adrian?_"

And then came the question I dreaded. "What are the two of you doing here?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Adrian**

The sudden blue in Carly´s aura – a sign of stress – made it clear that she hadn't just neglected to tell Sydney; she'd hoped it would stay a secret. Adrian guessed it was too late for that now.

"I do go to college here, Sage," he said, turning around nonchalantly.

"On a Saturday." She folded her arms and shook her hair from her face. "And you two just happened to walk into each other and decided to have a talk?"

"Yes – like we did yesterday. It happens."

"Speaking of which…" Carly smiled nervously. "Syd, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I thought I'd watch your debate," she said. "I thought they were open for spectators?"

Carly blinked a couple of times, taken aback. "They are. They are, yeah. It would be great if you came to watch. You're invited, too, of course," she added, looking at Adrian, though her invitation seemed forced.

"No, I've still got some things to do," he said.

"Okay. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you. I really need to go – there are some things I still have to discuss with my team." She turned to Sydney, reluctance written all over her face. "Sydney, are you coming?"

"Er, yeah. I've still got a couple of minutes before it starts, right?"

Carly nodded.

"Then I'd like to talk to Adrian for a moment, if that's all right."

Carly nodded and took off.

Adrian doubted this would be a pleasant talk, but he followed Sydney nevertheless until they were standing in the shade of the faculty building. He couldn't help but notice how unhealthy she looked compared to her sister.

"So, what did you and Carly discuss?" she said, leaning against a palm tree.

"Oh, you know – college, life, the universe. Just your everyday topics."

"I'm an everyday topic now?"

"I suppose you might've been mentioned a couple of times," he said. "Nothing too big, though. Just a bit of, 'How do you know Sydney?', 'Are you assaulting my sister?' and 'What do you mean, she's never told you about re-education centers?'" He kept his tone light, but Sydney's head jerked up in surprise.

"She told you about those?" she said.

"She was surprised you hadn't mentioned them to me." His hand clenched into a fist when he saw the terror on her face – and that was only from _mentioning _those centers. "Why didn't you tell me? If I'd known - "

"It wouldn't have made a difference," she said sharply. "We can't be together anyway. You know that."

"Yes, but I'd thought that… Well, you know what they say. 'Hope springs eternal'." He shrugged, and her expression softened. "When I thought it was just your aversion to us, I thought that maybe with time you'd get over it, but…"

"But then it turned out we have people to ensure that I won't get over it." She sighed and slid down the tree, until she was sitting on the ground, her forearms resting on her knees. "I… did you think meeting with Carly would change anything? How did you find her, anyway? Were you just walking around the debating spot all day?"

"Please. She'd have a heart attack," he said. He slumped down next to her, little clouds of dust whirling up around him. "She called me, yesterday night."

"What? Why?"

"Mainly because she wanted to warn me to stay away from you, I guess," he said. "She was worried about you. She seemed to think I'd assaulted you."

"She would," Sydney said softly. "Carly's a bit sensitive about those things." She hesitated, but didn't elaborate, opting instead to draw lines in the sand. Adrian watched as she made an unhappy face, before frowning and wiping it away with the palm of her hand.

His hand itched to reach out and comfort her, but he didn't think that would make things better. Still, seeing her like that, wasting away… it quite literally broke his heart, even more than her rejection had.

"Sage, I know you can get into major trouble for this," he said. "And you probably won't take me up on this, but you know that if you ever need anyone, I'm here for you, right?"

She waited for along time before answering.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Adrian…" As she spoke, she drew a heart in the sand, between them. "We shouldn't have contact at all. That would be easier for the both of us." She traced her finger through the heart, creating a break. "We won't get over each other if we just keep on waiting. It doesn't work."

"Maybe not, but what we're doing now isn't working either," he said. "We don't have to… We could just go back to the way things were."

She didn't look at him. "That's bad enough to get me into a re-education center. You know what happens then?" She leaned over and ran her hands through the sand, until nothing was left of the heart but a pile of meaningless sand. "Then they'll erase me. They'll make sure I never have dangerous thoughts like that again."

He remembered something she'd said months ago. _"I'd rather suffer any other injury in the world than have my mind tampered with." _ Had she had the re-education centers in mind when she said that? Or had it just been in general?

"You're right," he said. "I suppose there isn't a way you could… opt out of re-education?"

She shook her head. "When you are with the Alchemists, re-education centers are part of the deal. And there's no getting out of the Alchemists…"

There was something in her voice, in the way her brow furrowed, that told him she wasn't too sure about that. "I'm sure it must've happened before," he said. "_Someone _must've left them. They don't seem like great employers, you know."

"Well, that's moot anyway. _I_ won't stop. My father would kill me." She smiled to soften her words, but her aura told him all he needed to know. Losing her father's respect would mean the end of the world to her. It might even frighten her more than the thought of a re-education center.

She looked up at him. "Adrian, we really shouldn't do this. You really should stay away from me and I from you. You're not the only one with a well of hope."

"I seem to be the only one masochistic enough to drink from it, though."

He was surprised when he felt something warm touch his arm. It was Sydney's hand, her thumb caressing his skin.

"I seem to be drinking from the waters of stupidity," she said. "Maybe we could combine them?"

He looked at her face. She wasn't wearing any make-up today and her lily tattoo was a visible reminder of why had had to stay away from her. He had no doubt the Alchemists would act when they found out he and Sydney were in love, but… surely they could have a friendly relationship? Based on the fact that he was her charge and her source for information on Spirit research? They could never avoid each other completely; they could at least start _talking _to each other again. It would make her Alchemist duties easier.

"Just as colleagues," he said.

"Just as friends," she corrected.

He nodded. Not that it mattered. They both knew: this wasn't enough.

But what else could they do?


	4. Chapter 4

**Sydney**

Carly's last debate was finished at four on Sunday and she decided to spend the rest of the day with me. While we were discussing her last debate, I took her to Spencer's. She could hardly visit Palm Springs without being introduced to my life savers, after all.

When we entered the coffee shop, I noticed three people I'd rather not see right now – or any time, actually. One of them was Brayden, making someone a hot chocolate. He was the least of my worries, since next to him, behind the counter, stood Trey, who was helping none other than Mrs. Terwilliger.

It was enough to make me want to turn around and leave, but Carly was already standing in line, looking at the pastries in the showcase. I would just have to sit this one out and hope the others would pretend we hardly knew each other.

"Those blueberry muffins look delicious…" Carly said, nudging me. "What do you say if I take a vanilla muffin, you take a blueberry, and we both take halves?"

My teeth started itching at the thought of that much sugar. "I'm not very hungry."

"You don't have muffins because you're hungry; you have muffins because they're one of the main reasons for existence. Oh, hello." Smiling, she turned to Trey, who was now ready to help her. "I would like one cappuccino, a blueberry muffin, a vanilla muffin, and – Syd, what do you want?"

"A skinny vanilla latte?" Trey said, already typing it into the cash register.

"Exactly."

"Coming right up. Er…" He glanced at Brayden, who'd finished the last order. Just when it seemed one obstacle might not be too bad, another one had to rear its good-looking head. "Right."

He passed the order on to Brayden and fetched the two muffins for Carly.

"Wow. It really isn't as if there's a lot of awkwardness around here," she said to me. "If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say you're nervous, Syd. Do share if you feel like doing so." Her conversational tone didn't quite mask her curiosity as she took in Trey.

"In a minute," I said.

"Here you go." Trey handed Carly the two muffins. "You don't go to Amberwood, do you?"

"No, she's a cousin," I said hastily, before Carly mentioned we were sisters. It didn't matter that Trey knew about Moroi and Strigoi; I wanted to leave my real family out of this as much as I could. "Here for a short visit."

"And one that actually looks like you, Melbourne. That's a first."

"Melbourne?" Carly said.

"A nickname. You should be helping people," I said pointedly, looking at Trey.

While he served the next customer, Carly and I moved along to the point where Brayden was making our coffee. Since Carly was already holding the cupcakes, he handed the coffee cups to me. I wasn't sure if the atmosphere between us was awkward or not. A little bit, I supposed. It was weird to think I'd kissed him, but I didn't feel any regret about the fact that things were over between us. That might have had something to do with the way Adrian had smiled at me yesterday, but it was probably because I'd never really liked Brayden in the first place.

So much for my epic first love. It wasn't even intense enough to have an aftermath.

"Let's sit over there." Carly gestured at a table near the window.

Just as I set down the coffee cups, feeling that everything had gone all right, a woman's voice managed to shatter my piece of mind.

"Why, Miss Melbourne! How are you today?"

I closed my eyes, cursing under my breath. Then I turned around and hoped for the best. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Terwilliger. I'm fine, thank you, and you?" I noted she had a to-go coffee cup; something told me she'd been waiting until she could talk to me.

"I've a ton of essays to correct. Sophomores – unbelievable what they write down sometimes." She placed her cup on the table and held out her hand to Carly. "I don't think we've met. Family of Miss Melbourne?"

"A cousin," Carly said, shaking Terwilliger's hand.

"I'm her Ancient History teacher and I help her with an extra project. She's the one that keeps my caffeine levels manageable." She smiled, but I couldn't relax. I prayed she wouldn't say anything more about that project, let alone the extra magic we'd been practicing lately. That was something Carly _really _shouldn't know about. She would have a mental breakdown if she knew I was learning how to move things with my mind, or that I used herbs and magic to set things on fire.

Carly didn't seem to notice anything strange. "You teach Ancient History? I took a course in that last year, but whenever I asked Sydney about it, she came with so much more information than I needed."

"Yes, she is my best student. Sydney's very bright. Are you staying in Palm Springs long?"

"No, I'm leaving tomorrow."

Mrs. Terwilliger grimaced. "That's a shame. It's always nice to meet family of talented students – often, those talents run in the family. It would've been nice to get to know you better, but alas, grading has to be done."

"Such is life," said Carly. "It was nice meeting you."

"Likewise. And Sydney? I'll see you tomorrow." Mrs. Terwilliger picked up her cup and after a last smile at us, she left. The dread she'd awakened in me stayed, though. What did she mean, "those talents run in the family"? Was she implying Carly was a witch as well? Could she say that when she'd barely spoken to Carly?

"So…" Carly took a seat and unwrapped the vanilla muffin. "That awkwardness I told you about. I think it's time you explain that."

Sighing, I sat down as well. "Where to start? That guy over there, that made our coffee?" I decided it would be best to skip the Trey business altogether; I wasn't sure if non-Alchemists were allowed to know about that.

Carly glanced over her shoulder and gave Brayden a once-over. "What about him?"

"Well… I've been kind of busy since I got here. Adrian isn't the only one I've kissed." I didn't know what reaction I'd expected; maybe horror that I'd suddenly kissed two boys, or a speech on how I should be careful because I never knew what monsters might be lurking behind nice exteriors.

Instead, she said, "Not bad. A barista – that sounds like a logical choice for you."

I cleared my throat. "Yes, well, it didn't work out. I mean, we went on a couple of dates, but…"

"He broke it off because you were too irresponsible, yes. Adrian told me about that." She laughed when she saw my incredulous expression. "In an offhand manner. He didn't go into much detail. So, that's Brandon?"

"Brayden."

"He doesn't look too bad. And he makes good coffee." She took a sip. "_Very _good coffee. But he wasn't the one?"

"No. He wasn't. I mean, he was very nice and he's probably the smartest boy I've ever met, but even if he hadn't broken up with me, it still wouldn't have lasted long." I watched as Carly broke off a large piece of her muffin and popped it into her mouth.

She caught me looking and said, "By all means, help yourself. I bought them to share anyway. So, despite meeting a smart, good-looking, sweet boy who makes coffee, you decided to go for the handsome, artist vampire." She sounded casual, but there was still the slightest hint of fear in her voice. Even if she did like Adrian, it was obvious she couldn't just ignore that he wasn't human.

"Adrian and I are just friends."

"And things should stay that way. It's risky enough the way it is now," she said. "I'd say, try it again with that Brayden, but I don't think that's the solution. And take some of the muffin!"

I blinked at her sharp tone. "I'm not hungry."

"I'm not relenting. It's a good muffin. Or take the blueberry one, I don't care. Just _eat _something." She pushed the blueberry muffin my way, her expression stern. "It won't kill you and dammit, Sydney, I don't want you to have a relapse. Not when I'm not sure if people here can help you."

_Relapse?_ I wasn't relapsing. I was looking out for my weight. This was nothing like when I was fifteen. I'd been under a lot of stress then; dieting had been a way out. I didn't need that control anymore, I had different ways now.

"I don't need help," I said. "I eat loads."

She crossed her arms. "Is that so? Then why was Adrian so surprised when he found out that I ate? I've only been here for two days and I can see it again."

"This isn't really the place to discuss this." I glanced around, but no one was paying attention to us. "Carly, you're overreacting. I just don't have a big appetite, that doesn't mean I'm ill. It doesn't mean I've lost control again."

She glared at me. "Then why won't you eat the damned muffin?"

"Because I'm not – fine. Fine. I'll eat the muffin." I grabbed the muffin and tore off the plastic layers around it. Taking a big bite, I felt the tears welling up. I hadn't relapsed. I _couldn't _relapse. I couldn't fail like that again. I was healthy – I had to be.

Carly looked guilty, but there was a grim determination in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. With everything that's going on… you hardly need an extra problem."

I swallowed. "I don't have a problem with it. My eating habits are the least of my problems." I wondered if I could put the muffin down now that I'd taken a bite, but I knew Carly would see it as further evidence. My stomach clenching in reluctance, I took another bite of the muffin. It tasted like rubber.

"Doesn't your school have a school counselor?" Carly said. "Maybe you could ask for some meetings with her, just to keep you on the right track."

"That isn't necessary," I said.

"I think you should give it a try. You've nothing to lose."

She had no idea what she was talking about. Going to see a psychologist would mean I'd been beaten by food – again. It would be horrible, and it wasn't necessary. I had everything under control this time.

"I'll look into it," I said.

"You'd better." She sighed. "Okay. With that in mind, we shouldn't let this put a damper on my visit. I still want to see some of the stores here – shall we go shopping after this?"

I was happy to focus on anything other than my alleged "relapse", so I started telling her about some of the stores in town. By the time we'd finished our coffee and I'd subtly put the muffin away in my purse, the atmosphere was a lot easier. I had good hopes this might be the end of Carly's food-related worries.

"I really should come by more often," Carly said as we walked on the sunlit sidewalk. She raised her face to the sun, her eyes closed. "I've missed the sun."

"You can always come and visit me," I said. "I'm really glad you're here."

She opened her eyes again and smiled at me, ruffling my hair. "And you're not just saying that so I'll get you a nice present for Christmas? Because that won't work – I've already bought it and it's -" Suddenly, her eyes went wide and she grabbed my arm so tightly I flinched. "Oh, God."

A woman cried out. "Emma! _Emma!_"

I swiveled around, just in time to see a girl of about five standing in the middle of the road – with a car racing towards her. It was honking like crazy, but it was too close to stop – it would hit her –

Instantly, I reached for the amulet in my purse, focusing my mind on the girl. I muttered the spell so quickly the words were barely audible. "Puellam move, aufer ex via periculosa – puellam move – _MOVE HER!_"

I felt a rush of energy as the magic went through me and to the girl. One second, she was on the road – the next, she was lying on the sidewalk, crying, just as the car drove where she'd been only moments ago.

The woman let out a loud wail and ran for the girl. 'Emma! Emma, oh thank God, Emma, I was so scared…' She pushed Emma to her chest, her words incomprehensible because of the sobs that were ripping through her.

I let go of the amulet and staggered backwards, until I rested against the wall. Emma had been much bigger than the books I was used to moving. I hadn't even known I _had _that much magic in me.

I took deep, calming breaths, waiting for the world to stop spinning. When it did and I looked up, I saw Carly's face, paler than I'd ever seen it.

"What was _that_?!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Carly**

Sydney dragged me into an alley, looking over her shoulder. Not that anyone followed us – everybody's attention was on Emma and the car driver, who'd got out of his car and was now checking if Emma was all right.

"What is going on?" I said. "What were you _doing_?"

Sydney leaned against the wall, her arms crossed, and didn't look at me. This was going to be bad, I could feel it.

"That Mrs. Terwilliger you just met?" she said. "My Ancient History teacher? She's – well, she's a witch."

I couldn't speak. This visit just kept getting weirder and weirder. Witches didn't exist – humans couldn't have magic. And Mrs Terwilliger had been a human, unless she was a dhampir, but they _also _weren't supposed to possess magic. Only vampires did. But Sydney had done something just now -

"I don't understand," I finally said "A witch?"

Sydney nodded. "I know it's weird; I'd never heard of them either. Witches are humans who practice magic."

"What, Harry Potter-style? She's carrying a wand and – and Wingardium Leviosa-ing things now?" I forced my mind to stay on the topic of Mrs. Terwilliger. I did _not _want to know what Sydney had to do with this until I knew more. "How does that even work? Humans aren't supposed to use magic!"

"Ssh!" She checked the surroundings, but no one was around. "Don't be so loud. No, she doesn't use a wand. Witches…we – they – vampires _have _magic, it's inside them, yes?" When I nodded, she continued, "Some humans can draw magic from their surroundings. Mrs. Terwilliger is one of those humans. With the help of some ingredients and a lot of 'mind power', witches can cast a spell. No wands. Amulets, though, and some chanting once in a while…"

I made the Alchemist mark against evil, not fooled by her faux-cheerful tone. "Sydney, what…?"

She swallowed and peeked up at me. "Carly, I think you know 'what'."

At that, I couldn't help but let out a shocked laugh. "You're wrong about that, Sydney. I have absolutely _no idea _what is going on right now. What, you're suddenly going to tell you that you're a witch and you used magic to save that girl? Because if you think _that's _the conclusion I'm coming to, then you're wrong. That's not what's going on right now." The thought of Sydney using magic was far, far worse than that of her being with a vampire. I could understand the latter in a way – he was charming and really cared for her. Sometimes, feelings just worked that way.

But Sydney and magic… it was inconceivable. It was beyond unnatural and unethical and Sydney _knew _that. There was no way she could justify manipulating other people like that. Magic was fundamentally wrong.

Sydney grasped my hand. "Carly, please, please, _please _don't tell anyone."

"Don't tell them _what_, Syd? Are you using magic? Is that _really _what's going on?" I pulled my hand free, suddenly afraid there might be magic lingering on her. "How could you do that? _Magic?_"

Her expression was torn and she started pacing up and down the alley. "I – I saved that girl's life."

"By using magic. What's next, you're going to drink blood, too?" The words were harsh, but I couldn't keep them in. Maybe I should tell Father that Sydney was having trouble eating again, so she could go home and have someone else take her place here. I didn't want her in a re-education center, but Springs had a bad influence on her.

She looked as if I'd slapped her. "I'm only doing this to help!"

"You're not supposed to! Not like that!"

"So what, I was just supposed to let her _die_?" She pointed at the main road, where everything seemed normal again. "If I can save a life with that magic, shouldn't I use it? I don't want to hurt anybody -"

"You'll get hurt yourself," I cut in. "I'm not talking about Alchemists now. I'm talking about _you_. What's happening to you? What are those vampires doing to you?"

"The vampires aren't doing anything to me. Mrs. Terwilliger came to me about this – and she's human. You know what happened two weeks ago, Carly?" She'd stopped pacing. "I almost witnessed a murder on one of my friends. _Humans _were going to kill her, because they thought she was a Strigoi. Dhampirs saved her and me that night. Not from Moroi, not from Strigoi – but from humans. Vampires aren't the worst thing out there."

I was at a loss for words. How had this happened? Sydney, the perfect little Alchemist daughter, was suddenly on the side of the Moroi?

"I used magic and saved someone's life. Twice. Three times, if you count my own life." She took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry for that. I know it seems wrong to you, I understand, really, but if I can use the magic to do good -"

"It's not about _how _you use magic! You should stay away from it!" How could she _not _understand? "Even if we forget the – the ethical problems of this, what will you do when the Alchemists find out? You'll be in a re-education center for the rest of your _life_."

That struck a nerve. She started shaking and leaned against the wall to steady herself. "I know."

"Then why are you still doing it? Why are you making things so difficult for yourself?" I moved closer and placed a hand on her shoulder, ignoring the fear in the pit of my belly. _She's Sydney. Her magic can't hurt you. She doesn't _have _any magic. She's a human – an Alchemist. _Somehow, those words failed to reassure me. "What's happened to you?"

"I was betrayed by Keith, who is more despicable than any of my vampires could ever even _dream _of being," she said. I flinched when she said his name, but then she continued, "I was attacked by four humans who tried to kill my friends. It happened on the street, not far from here. Later, those humans _held a competition _to see which of them was allowed to kill my friend, who they'd drugged and abducted. Meanwhile, the Alchemists cover up _everything_ and I keep discovering more things they've kept secret. They had rather someone was a horrible human being than a decent person who likes vampires, because there's 'nothing' worse than vampires. Well, they're wrong. They're wrong about Moroi, they're wrong about magic, and they're wrong about how they're doing things. _That's _what happened to me, Carly."

I hardly recognized the girl posing as my sister. Sydney had been chosen as the Alchemist in our family for a reason. I'd always been too much like our mother, going my own way and asking questions I shouldn't. Sydney was different. She never disobeyed our father, she never questioned what her superiors told her, and she would never throw away her Alchemist beliefs like that. _That _was why she'd been marked with the lily. Not because she was smarter than I was, or more motivated, but because she had the right attitude.

Nothing of that attitude remained. The girl standing in front of me had Moroi friends. That was bad, but I could accept it, somehow. It was what happened when you worked with them all the time.

The girl standing in front of me was in love with a vampire. That was more difficult, but love was irrational. They had to stay away from each other for her safety's sake and I knew it would blow over, so there was no real harm done.

But this girl that questioned the Alchemists, defied one of their most important beliefs – that magic was wrong and shouldn't be used – and actively chose the side of the vampires… She was so far removed from my little sister, I wondered if maybe someone had taken over her body.

I took a step away from her. "I feel like I don't know who you are anymore," I said.

She was silent for a long time. "So do I. I'm not… I'm no longer the Alchemist they once sent to Russia. Things have changed. _I _have changed. But I don't think that's bad."

"Will you still say that when you're locked up in a re-education center? Syd, I don't want to see you there any more than you do, but…" I couldn't turn her in, could I? Telling the Alchemists would be tantamount to signing Sydney in for a center. But maybe sometimes those centers were necessary. Maybe Sydney _needed _it. Not just to stay a good Alchemist, but to stay a normal human being.

"You wouldn't," she whispered. "Carly – you – you wouldn't…"

I hated seeing her despair like that. "I just want to help you, Sydney. There's only so much I can ignore and if this is how you think now -"

"Can't you consider that I might have a point?" she said. "Carly, you know me. You know how I always thought about the Alchemists. Do you really think my opinion would change overnight?"

"I don't _know _what caused it, but it's _not healthy_. Don't you see what you're doing? Don't you _care_?"

"I'm not hurting anyone," she said. "Nothing _really _happened. The Alchemists don't need to find out. I'm just saving them from having to keep another secret." Her mouth was set in a firm line. I wondered what it was she'd found out about the Alchemists that would upset her so much.

"Okay. I won't tell them," I said. "But I want you to promise me you'll stop using magic."

"I can't do that." She stated it very matter-of-factly, not even taking a moment to consider it. It was a tone our father used when he spoke about Alchemist rules. What followed was completely different from anything Father would every say, though. "I'm really sorry if I worry you, Carly. I am. But I'm not sorry for using magic, because if I can help people with it, it's worth a sacrifice."

A poignant silence hung between us after she's aid that. Something inside my broke during that silence. A part of my heart was bleeding for the girl Sydney had been and the trouble she would face when the Alchemists found out. Because they would, whether I told them or not, and we both knew it.

"Want me to drive you back to your hotel?" she asked.

I shook my head and clasped my purse. "I'll take a bus. I'll… call you before I leave." I walked away quickly.

Sydney didn't try to stop me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sydney**

"Do you want me to see you off?"

"No, that's fine."

"Oh. O-okay. Well, then… have a nice trip."

"Thank you."

I paced around the room, trying to find the right words. Chances were that I wouldn't see Carly for a long time, and I didn't want things to end badly between us. All night I'd been lying awake, thinking of Carly's frightened face when I touched her. I knew that face. It was the face I had whenever Moroi came around, before I knew better. She was afraid of my magic and I understood that. I just hoped I could show her that magic wasn't always bad.

"Carly, I'm really sorry if I scared you," I said. "I didn't mean to. Please say you're not scared of me."

"I'm not scared _of _you, Syd. I'm scared _for _you." There was some rustling on the other side of the line, and then Carly said, "I think you might be getting into something bigger than you can handle."

"I can handle it," I said automatically.

"Can you?"

I looked at my reflection in the mirror that was on my closet door. My eyes looked tired from the sleepless night and I hadn't covered my tattoo yet. The light streaming in through my window lit up the gold.

"I'll have to."

Carly let out a deep sigh. "Father would freak if he found out."

"Then we'll have to make sure he never does. Carly, you don't have to tell him. I'm not hurting anyone with my magic."

"Except yourself."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't," she said. "But do you really think I want to take the risk with _you_? Even if the magic isn't dangerous and unnatural, the Alchemists will go ballistic if they find out. _When_, probably, knowing them. Can't you just… stop the magic for _that _part of your safety's sake?"

"Carly, the Alchemists are part of why I _want _to do this. If things are going to come to a confrontation, I want to be prepared." I hadn't known I was going to say that, but as the winged words left my mouth, I knew they were true.

Carly gasped. "A confrontation? _What?_"

"I'm not going to be their mindless puppet anymore, Carly. According to the Alchemists, Keith is a better person than Adrian. I believed that. For years I accepted that, but now… I can't close my eyes to that anymore. And I can't rule out that at a certain point, things are going to… clash." I sounded more certain than I was. Confronting the Alchemists sounded like the scariest thing I could do, because it meant confronting _everything_: my job, my family, my beliefs…

Except that my job was to take care of those vampires. My family wasn't just my father, mother and sisters – it was Jill and Eddie and Angeline, too. And my beliefs… I couldn't believe someone like Adrian was evil. Not when I'd seen what some humans were capable of.

"Sydney," Carly said, stressed. "Remember that little talk we had about safety? _Your _safety? And you thinking about it? Did you just erase that?"

"No, I just think some things are more important."

She sighed again. "There's no way I'm going to be able to talk this out of your head, is there?"

"Probably not," I admitted. "I'm not asking you to help me or become chummy with Moroi. I'm just asking you to keep this from the Alchemists. And to trust me."

"I always trust you. And you know that if there's anything I can do to protect you, that's what I'll do. Call it my big sister instincts. In return, I have to ask you to be careful, though. I can only protect you so much and then there's…"

I sat down on my bed and wrapped my duvet around me. "I know."

Someone said something to Carly. There was some silence, and then she came back on. "Syd, I've really got to pack. It was great seeing you again. Take care."

"You, too," I said. "Have a nice flight."

"Thanks. If you ever need me – just call me. My phone's always on for you and my door's always open. _Yes, give me a second!_ Sorry – Mark was being pushy," she said. "Travelling gets him stressed… Anyway. Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

I smiled and pressed the duvet closer to me. "Love you, too."

* * *

**Carly**

**Four months later, Sunnydale University**

"_Dreams, dreams, of when we had just started things_," Carly sang along – rather falsely – while she folded her laundry on the bed. "_Dreams of you and me. And it seems -"_

A knock on the door interrupted her singing. She darted for the door and pulled it open. One moment, she couldn't place the vampire who was standing on her doorstep, but then it came back to her. Adrian. Sydney's boyfriend.

Her heart sank when she saw his expression. "What's wrong? Did something happen to Sydney?"

He nodded. "They found out."

Carly staggered backwards, pressing a hand to her forehead. She was suddenly feeling very lightheaded. "Oh, no," she whispered. "No. Oh, no. That's – it can't be. I would've – Father would've -" But she wasn't so sure if her father would tell her. _Sydney is in a re-education center. Sydney is in a re-education center._

She leaned against her desk, waiting for the spinning in her head to stop. By the time it did, Adrian had entered and turned on her computer.

"Why are you here?" Carly said.

He didn't take his eyes from the computer screen, where the Windows logo had appeared. "We're going to get her back." He glanced up at her. His green eyes looked haunted. "Want to help us?"

_If I help him, I will be helping a vampire._

_If I help him, I will be a traitor to the Alchemists._

_If I help him, I will be in trouble just as much as Sydney is._

"Of course. What can I do?"

* * *

**A/N: This really is the end of the story. It was supposed to go about Sydney and Carly and their sisterly relationship. Then I got an idea for a second chapter, so it became longer than a oneshot, then after the third chapter, people still wanted more, so... it became this. The very last part is more of an epilogue to show Carly's protectiveness etc. But this really is the end; if I'm going to write the 'break Sydney out of re-education centers', that's going to be a new story. **

**I hope you enjoyed it!  
**


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